Javier Sanchez
What does failure look like? It’s a question I ask myself all the time. Often the answer stares right back at me in the mirror. At first glance, failure can be defined as attempting a particular feat and not succeeding. We are instructed to believe that not achieving a particular goal is the pinnacle of failure – that when we put our mind and energy toward something we must succeed. Falling short is utter failure. But this weekend, a confluence of events made me question life, relationships, and hardship. It put squarely in front of me the conflict that life creates and a typical search for answers and inspiration. We don’t have to look very far.
A dear friend is going through a breakup. Another friend passed away. And my brothers and I finalized plans for my father’s surprise 80th birthday party. My friend going through the breakup said he felt broken and in so much pain. My heart aches at the loss of love and the loss of the only reason to live – your other half. It is easy to feel like a failure when a relationship breaks apart. Especially when it is the thing we are proudest of. Recognizing that we’re not as good at something as we thought is a tough pill to swallow. We equate the failure of a specific thing with being an inept human being.
Where I once thought my talent was my ability to lead and inspire others to be a part of something larger than oneself, I see that I’m not as good at it as I thought. In fact, I’m pretty bad at it. The very people I’m supposed to be inspiring seem more distant and lost than ever. Where once we worked toward common goals and were unified in thought and action, we now seem disjointed and broken. I thought I was a good manager. I thought I could lead people. The skills I prized most have failed me.
But recognizing failure is the starting point. It’s never too late to change and improve. Now is the time to pivot, adapt and improvise. Life is about overcoming – whether in personal or work relationships. My buddy Johnny who passed away last week exemplified the idea of overcoming. Always smiling and always full of gossip, Johnny fought to understand the world. Sometimes he got it right, but most times he got it wrong. Yet he didn’t let that stop him. He’d ask. He’d prod. Until he got to the bottom of things. Turns out, he may have gotten it right more often than I gave him credit.
It’s the “stick-to-it-ness” that matters when it comes to overcoming failure. He was feisty. He was salty. And he was determined. And I couldn’t be at his side when he passed. I know he would have been there for me. I regret that.
When it comes to never giving up, there’s my pops. He’ll be turning 80 later this month. He’s full of life and always has been. As a life metaphor – something he unknowingly taught me 37 years ago – he scraped and saved and somehow found a way to buy my first pair of hiking boots. They were expensive. They were for a frivolous backpacking trip I took before my freshman year in college. My dad wanted to send me off into the world with a good pair of shoes. He wanted to make sure I had what it takes to make that first step. I needed the strength, perseverance and tools to put each foot in front of the other.
Failure is static. It’s one-dimensional. Life and the need to overcome, however, are defined by movement. The slow and steady march toward something unknown. Our future is uncertain, but the one thing you can count on is that failure to take that next step brings ruin, self-doubt and utter darkness. Do your best to be the light in someone’s world. Overcome the abyss of failure and take that next step. Whatever it is.
Javier Sanchez is the former Mayor of Espanola, an independent businessman, and El Rito Media investor and columnist.
